Now, I'll be the first to admit that I don't own any apple products. I've had the same cell phone since 2001, the year of 9/11, and I don't see myself buying a new one anytime in the near future because if a product works there is no reason not to use it and I rarely miss any phone calls, so what's the point. However, my cousin Dennis, he's 9 years my junior and a tech whiz, has an iPhone and I got to play around with it last Thanksgiving for about three hours. Let me say this; I was completely under whelmed. Is it a phone or is it a coffee table coaster with a bunch of touch buttons? I honestly don't know. I couldn't even figure out how to hold it up to my face. So every time you get a phone call you have to spend about a minute trying to put this thing up to your head and usually by that time the phone isn't ringing any more and you've probably just missed an emergency phone call about your son's dentist appointment-which is exactly what happened to Dennis when I was playing with his phone.
So how does Apple improve this device you say? Do they redesign it so it actually looks like a phone that you can actually use and not look like a fooL? No. They make it bigger. That's right. You know how cell phones seemed to be getting smaller and smaller so that some times you reach into your pocket and think your thumbing a loose button that fell off your shirt or something and then you realize, "Oh, that's my phone"? Well, Apple decided to go ahead and reverse that trend. It's kind of like how one day they tell you that your shirt is cool and then the next day they tell you it sucks so that you have to keep buying shirts all the time. Which is why I don't buy new clothes but every ten years or so. But back to the iPad. Look at this thing:
I don't know who this poor guy is holding that iPad there but it looks like he's about to fall right through the floor like Wile E. Coyote when he realizes he's holding an ACME anvil or something. I mean, can you believe the size of that thing? It's HUGE!! Look at the jeans he's wearing (where's his belt, by the way?) There is NO way that phone is going to fit in those jeans. I wear blue jeans too, on the weekends, that look pretty much just like those, but what am I supposed to do, get custom pockets made for my jeans so I can fit my iPad in them? I don't like the sound of that. I would look ridiculous with big puffy pockets sticking out of my pants and this big old tablet slapping against my legs. Would that even fit in a briefcase? I doubt it. And if I had trouble holding the iPhone up to my ear how am I supposed to put this "iPad" up to my face. If you're going to make it that big, why don't you at least put some cushioning on there so I can put my head down on it like a pillow and talk on the phone. That way, if I forget to take a pillow with me somewhere, I can just say "that's Okay" and pull my iPad out of my huge pockets and put it down on the bed and get some rest. UNLESS IT RINGS!
You see my point here? This is getting out of hand. Literally! And what happens when some compettor makes their own iPad and to sell more phones then Apple makes there's even bigger? Where does it end? Does it get to the point where it's like "what's that noise?" "Oh, that's my cell phone ringing. It's so big that I have to keep it in the garage. I'll be right back." No thanks, Apple. I'll keep my Sanyo phone, please. But if you want to make a phone for me, just keep it simple. Just find an old phone from some office in the 80s, cut off the cord, and give me that at a size that will fit in my non custom made pockets of my jeans. Thank.
