Monday, April 26, 2010

63% of Grain Eaters have No Use for Microwave


It has been shown by many scientific studies that humans do not care what they put in there bodys anymore. These days, you could walk into a deli and order a chicken sandwich on grain bread and the clerk will look at you like your crazy. They say, "I think your better off ordering the steak sandwich with french fries or maybe I'll sneak you a donut under the counter. Yea, that's right, here comes the donut and no I won't tell a soul"

Maybe you go into your favorite breakfast joint and ask them to mix in a nice helping of grains into your morning milk glass. Good luck getting out of there with your skin. Oh, and maybe they'll serve you up a fried egg sandwich with cheese or some mor donuts to boot. Tell them thanks while your fatass rolls out the door. I can hear your arteries getting clogged more and more by the minute.

This nation has fallen out of love with grains and I am done with it. We should be eating more grains in EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. WE EVEREAT. At night, I make a few grain cakes and sprinkle them with barley and a bit of nutmeg for taste. If I am hungry in the middle of the night, I wake myself up and construct a grain wafer from oats and any other protein or cereals I can find before finally finishing the wafer in bed. Rices, barleys, corns and ryes can be blended into a nice grain stew that makes six to eight servings. If the grains are simmered and seasoned just right, this is a stew that will turn a few heads. A hearty grain broth is a nectar that only the gods would be fit to taste, but your just making it in your own kitchen. You will be the envy of your neighborhood with these broths and you will be amazed at what juices and nutrients can be extracted from a series of well slelected grains. The healing powers of grains can cure a common sickness and have even regenerated human organs in a few rare cases.

You can also try rhubarb stalks dipped in cornmeal and my grandmothers seed muffins, but I am not saying you need a 100% grain diet. Try swallowing a few seeds of grain every morning until you get used to it. If your grilling a steak or chicken, coat the meats with grain seed or inject them into the center with a baster. Some specialty stores sell special grain cubes that can be dissolved into a nice soup or bottle of sports drink. The point is GET THE GRAINS IN ANYWAY YOU CAN and if that means kicking some butt at your favorite restaurant then so be it.

For your sake, for your kids sake, click this link to read the United States Drug Administrations report on grain consumption and how it is out of control. I have read very little of this now that I have a job, but the warning signs are there. Thanks and God bless.

Friday, April 23, 2010

You Call This a Pipe Dream?


Tim, you do know that de Vinci spent much of his life in poverty and that much of his genius wasn't realized until after his death, don't you? So I'm perfectly Ok with not getting the recognition I deserve at the moment. However, it's very likely that I'll be hitting it big like Ron Popeal very soon. Your right though. I could probably make a boatload of money if I went back to selling grains out of my trunk, but that wouldn't be pursuing a pipe dream would it? 
You'll have to forgive me if I hold myself to a high standard, Tim. Wicker was my life. My life is in ashes. Ashes to ashes, man. Move on with it. Make something new for life. Create. Invent. Take notes, Tim: 

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I have gotten a new job


Today is a great day. Today I have been hired as an Information Technology specialist at First National Bank of Iowa. Basically, I got the job today because they felt I was the best guy for the job and now I have the salary to show for it. Basically, I will be the residant tech guy at the local branch and will just fix all of the problems that employees have with their computers.

This has been a long time coming for me and I probably didn't work as hard as I should have finding a job when I first moved back to Ames but all of the naysayers and my parents can shut their asses up this time. This job is just a new key to a 2nd chance on life for me. I have just been so grateful today as I keep realizing that I make more money than Karna now.

For teh most part, the branch I will work at is staffed by total idiots. The group of tellers on staff is this click of girls that think they are hilarious and spend all day laughing and hugging each other, not even knowing if there doing there job correctly. They were whispiring to each other as I walked out of the managers office today, covering their mouths and looking at me and then laughing and hugging some more. I walked up to them completely confident, shook their hands and just introduced myself. There mouths just hung open dumbfounded. I told them they had better get used to me being around because I am a confident person and a trusting person and that everything in my life is coming together at the right time. They just looked at each other dumbfounded, so I said they better pay attention to there teller window a little better so someone doesn't sneak up and rob their assses.

The manager is so fat, but he seems like a nice enough guy. Hey, he hired me right? You bet your asses off he did. I don't understand why it took him three months to call me back in after my interview, but it is better late than never because I had already given up on his fat

Man, it felt great walkign out of that bank today, the sun on my shoulders and a new lease. One of my first orders of business when I start work will be to order new computers for everyone because these people are still using XP and probably have malware infected all over the place. I will need to have a class and have everybody tell me what websites they are looking at on there break because all of that has got to stop right now. I start work next Monday, but I will probably go in tomorrow so I can get a handle on just how bad the situation is there.

Burt, why have you not been posting?