Friday, April 29, 2011

Social Media and the Modern Life

Look, I'm no spring chicken. I don't even like chicken. But these days the internet is chock-full of social media which raises many interesting questions. Like, what is social media? Or is it are? What are social media doesn't sound right because there's no s at the end of media. And this just makes my point for me: if we don't even know how to use it in a sentence, shoudl we really be talking about social media? The answer, unfortunately, is yes. Take this blog for instance. Thousands and probably millions of people see this sight every day and do I know who these people are? I do not. I would like to meet them but who has time to meet so many people? I have trouble enough talking to my customers. 

Lucky for us though Mark Zuckerburg recently invented a website that solves this problem. Facebooks are channels of the internet designed to make meeting and introducing strangers as easy as one two three. Creating a facebook is relatively easy if you know what the hell your doing on a computer like me, but some people have trouble grasping it's use and functions. Don't beat yourself up though because I was once an idiot too (no wood sculpture jokes Tim). The great thing about Facebooks is that you can literally type in a random name and thousands of entries will pop up. Want to become friends with somebody named "Alger Carpaccio"? Just type it in and take your pick. I'm friends with all sorts of people who live all over the county, state, region and world. Although, I think a lot of Facebooks break down a lot because a lot of folks don't respond to my queries and I occasaionly get "warning" messages from Mark Zuckerburg telling me to quit being "offensive." 

At this rate, where will it all end though? How many friends should one man have? Is 10 to many? 20? What about 50? If anybody had 50 friends there head would probably explode from trying to remember everyone's names and addresses and occupations and such. And good luck getting a table for 50 at Applebee's next Friday! Also, who the hell bests against me now?   


  1. I've been abroad for many weeks, finding myself, just traveling and trying to gain that direction I've been missing since the divorce. No phone access, no internet, no contact with anyone other than nature and Genius. I tracked ORyan's Belt one night with a looking glass, and another I just dug out a natural spring of water with my bare hands for fun. Animals came into the clearing and looked at me like I'd just saved there lives, and they put their lips to the water for a cool drink. I sat there and watched them in perfect peace until some dumass driving a semi on the overpass blew his horn and sent them stampeding off in every direction. My tent was destroyed.

    STill, I've found Des Moines can definitely cure my ills. So, I'm feeling great as I log on this morning and I go to my homepage and then I see you've written this and now I'm conflicted. On on hand, I'm sad about the store closing. Lotsa great memories there: barley juice in the fall, the weaving mechanism, that tax evasion subpeena. On the other hand, I'm a little glad youve experienced pain and that there has been no mention of the self-righteous Dondra. I guess I put my heart on this site and you convenenitly retreted to domestic bliss to watch me languish. I feel a bit like engaging on social media, but who knows if you'll be here tomorrow, or if I get to be the unrequited fencer with my crainium left perrying in the wind agin. There arent many ti

  2. It was me that called the house all those times in the middle of the night this past April. I regret threatening you and your family and I feel that there was some kind of retaliation needed, but that was the wrong kind, and im still trying to figure out what a more approriate. response is to the ways you wronged me, but that is neither here nor there. Let's work out the peace between us and my revenge will probably find an outlet later. Miss you bud

  3. That is all I wanted to here Tim. One mea culpa washes the other and I think we can both agree that your "threats" didn't scare anybody. Dondra got a good chuckle out of them and thank you for asking about her. She has recently become quite the origami artist and will be sending you a box of her failed swans later this week. We keep the good ones. Karna said she loved her set we sent her.

    I've told you a thousand times that you can't drive stakes into that hard ground by the causeway! So I can't say that I'm to surprised that your tent was torn up by what sounds like a pack of squirrels. I saw a rapid squirrel once that had foam coming out of its mouth so I punted it like a football and the tour guide told me to quit chasing the squirrels. I think he was a Commie.

    I'll assume that you are forfeiting this Brain Fence though because you have failed to engage my blade on the subject. Once again Burt takes the V! A big V for Burt! But I'd just like to make one more point: Is it possible for your wife to see your Facebook if can access the Web at work? She has no business looking at my personal Facebooks without my permission.

  4. I feel that old familiar rage inside of me again when I read your post but im a bigger man now, a stronger man, and you may be in for a surprise when you try to rile me up.

    Karma is no longer a concern to me. Send her a gift basket or whatever, heck take her on vacation with you, it matters not.

    Send at least one good oragami. Dondra WAS scared and YOU were scared.

    I concede nothing on social media, I jus think you maybe don't have any expertise in that area. I have no idea what some of your points are suposed to mean. No offense, but stick to medeval arts and your grains from now on and leave the hi-tech shit to me

  5. Karma should be your #1 concern right now Tim. Get it and Col. Luck on your side and the sea will open her bossom to you. You know that.

    I humbly allow you to select the next BF'n topic. Just make sure its on something you'll be able to give me a good fight on OK?