As a former elite athlete myself I couldn't help but notice that the Olympics are being held again this year. Following a complex secret algorithm the IOC committee decided to hold the "Winter" version this year, which is a good thing because have you seen what the weathers like this time of year in Canada? Sheesh! Good call IOC! But if you flip on the TV hoping to see Fred Phelps swimming the breaststroke like he was a couple years ago, think again. As I said before, these are the "Winter" Olympics, so that means that droves of stoned "amateurs" have descended upon Vancouver to try to rob the world of its precious metals and then probably sell them to go buy more pot by flipping around on skis and snowboards and walking around high fiving eachother.
You'll have to forgive me if I sound a little bitter about this whole deal but as someone that trained for the better part of a summer in the 90's only to see my dreams snatched away by an unfortunate "gouging" incident during a rowing meet, I take sports a little more seriously than your average fan. I was offered pot once (also in College) but I said "No thanks. I think I'd rather keep my brain, Professor Vaulkner. By the way, pot's illegal. And it has proven side effects." But hey, I'm no square. If you want to smoke a bong and then go do flips all over a mountain, I say "good for you". But should we really be giving these "athletes" metals for it? You wanna try something difficult, Cheech Marin? Try rowing down a river for an hour or two. Then come talk to me.
I will say this though: the opening ceremony was a beautiful as ever. They had these four people standing around this big room holding these torches. One young woman in particular was the definition of poise (see left). Then after sevearl minutes of tension-building silence these three big pillars came out of the sky or the ground or something and then three of the four people lit the pillars on fire. They must've flipped coins beforehand to see who got to light the pillars. You should have heard the crowd going nuts. All nations. Every person. Some of the athletes. It was amazing. I didn't get to see it because my wife was watching reruns of ER, but I heard it was scintilating. Sometimes I wish they still did it Greco-Roman style though where they'd have the guy run the torch in from Mount Olympus but I guess was too expensive to get him to run all the way from Athens or something.
Also, I'll need to check the TV Guide, but you can bet that the Dream Team is going to mop the floor with whoever their playing this year. Slam Dunk!
Good post about the Olympics, but they don't use some algorithym, they alternate back and forth between summer and winter every two years. This year was winter olympics turn. And I'm pretty sure that's not a "young woman" but Wayne Gretzky, one of the greatest American athletes of all time. I do agree with you about the pot, though. Snowboarding is ruining the tradition of the games. Remember Bonnie Blair? That was some skating!
ReplyDeleteI was going to post on this topic if you didn't. Gald to get on here and see that you did. But I don't know where you are getting the whole drug angle here?? Why would you insist upon degrading an entire class like you have with the snowboarders? This is one of your biggest weaknesses as a debater, you just don't give folks a fair shake and you never will. Sad really. When I have feelings on a subject matter, I put aside personal biasses and come to an objective solution. This sounds like sour grapes to me,
ReplyDeleteWeren't you an alternate on your rowing team? You have written this like your an olympic hopeful who barely missed the gold. When I've seen you row before when we were in Tulsa, you were terrible quite frankly. The ore kept flying out of your hands and your teammates were getting so pissed at you.
I watched to see the opening ceremonies live on tv with a young woman and I agree that they were breathtaking. She insisted on watching it with me and wouldn't take no for an answer. It really is amazing how close they came to completely burning that stadium down with everyone in it. Once they set the main torch on fire, we just held each other and cried until her sister came to pick her up even though she was almost a half hour early. Another thing I will mention to you is that I'm getting tired of NBC being so gracious to all these other countrys. I mean why are the announcers giving the Russians, Chinese and Germans the time of day. These are communist dictatorships and should be treated as such or not tolerated as part of these games, games whos ancient history are rooted in peace and American love.
Well, as co-inventor of Brain Fencing, I find it hard to believe, Tim that you think I haven't given these Olympians a "fair shake". This is an open forum. Any and all Olympians are free to refute my opinions here in the form of a comment. When it comes to Brain Fencing a man (or woman) I choose my weaponry carefully and then attack without mercy at the pressure points of my opponent. Sometimes, I win easily. Other different times, it takes a while. Do you remember that debate we had about beluga whales, Tim? Remember how you said "those damn things couldn't swim very deep." And I said "they can swim real deep" and then we drove to the pet store and the clerk looked it up on his computer and they could swim deep? That's how methodical I am. I wear you down.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about these snowboarders is that I guarantee you those people are just naturally good athletes. Me on the other hand had to work like crazy for almost a summer beofre I could row a boat. My drug was blood, sweat, and tears. Not pot. And when you saw me, Tim, I had a cold that day and my hands were all slippery from the Vicks Vapo Rub. I could no more hold an oar than you can hold your liquor. Plus I had the gout. And if we want to talk about athletic prowess, should we talk about your bowling skills? My wife almost beat you when she was still groggy from having her teeth pulled! LOL!
If there's one thing we can agree on and upon, Tim its that much too much time has been spent on awarding medals to the commies. I say if a commie wins a race or whatever a ref should come out and blow a whistle and have them all do the race over again until a non-commie wins. That'll teach them a lesson to try to limit a man's freedoms.
If that picture is a picture of Wayne Gretzky than somebody needs to tell him to grow a moustache or something to look more manly because I drove by the high school the other day and I could have sworn that I saw Wayne Gretzky on the girls golf team.
I don't know man, that was an embarrassing display of rowing. It was as if you had never rowed a boat before in your life. A really truely pathetic display of coordination.
ReplyDeleteI'll ask the same question I did after the bowling match: who won?
I see today that the dam Germans are 2nd in the Medal standings. Are you kidding me? Every time the Germans even compete in a match there should be a neverenfing chorus of boos cast upon then by all fans. Who is the dictator of Germany right now? Their athletes should be confiscated and interrogated by the CIA while they are on American soil. I just don't get this at all.
I was letting my six year-old son read your blog about the Olympics because he really loves them, but Tim your use of the d-word is unacceptable. You're going to have to use a disclaimer if the site is not friendly for little eyes.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, maybe a website devoted to intellectual debate isn't the best place for a 6 year old to be spending his sparetime. Parenting 101 buddy.
ReplyDeleteDutch, I think Tim and I both owe you an apolgy. I broke the first commandment of Brain Fencing when I quoted Tim as saying "damn" during our beluga whale debate. Instead of saying "damn" I should have said "d$mn" or "$amn" or "dam$" or something so that Dutch Jr. wouldn't be exposed to such filth. "Damn" is a pretty strong word to be using on an internet site and I regret ever having printed it. Tim was probably just taking my lead when he said "damn," but I'll be darned if it EVER happens again on Brain Fencing.
ReplyDeleteThe point is though that Brain Fencing can get pretty damned heated sometimes, especially when your fencing for the love of a woman like in one of those old Western movies. What's that saying? "Alls fair in love and fencing?" I agree with that. All is fair, accept for the things outlined in the Bill of Rights. Face the facts, fencing is disgusting.
I'm writing a letter to NBC about all these Germans winning metals. We won WWII. Get over it.
Burt, thanks for the [apology], but Mr. Sardepartment, it takes some nerve for you to question my parenting ability. It seems that your family life is not in how should we say, array right now, so please take your comment back. Parenting 101 is a class they actually offer at the community college in Enid and those parents try damned hard (how do you like that word, sir?) and don't deserve to be ridiculed because of it. Also, Burt, do you know that you used the d-word more than anyone so far while you were apologizing for it? Kind of defeats the purpose, I mean...I don't think I have to say that my son will not be visiting this website anymore. Not on my watch.
ReplyDeleteDutch, that's the beauty of Brain Fencing: anyone and everyone is entitled to there opinion. If you think I used that cuss word more than anyone, your'e free to voice it.
ReplyDeleteI forgot that Dutch was the owner of this site and that all who enter must bow before him? Guess were responsible for raising his dumb son now? And my life is in perfect array for your info, I'm datig and Im loving every
ReplyDeleteI just reread this line I mist have missed it before and I nearly fell off my bed. "Fencing is disgusting". Care to explain that one Burt so I can get back I'm bes?
ReplyDeleteI meant that to read so I could get back in bed. Did you see the US hockey team capture the gold last night?
ReplyDeleteTim, I simply ment that Brain Fencing, like any art form, can get a little messy. If your having problems falling off your bed again, you should be a new mattress.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the hockey match last night because Dondra was watching Murder She Wrote again. How did Wayne Gretzky play?
Wayne Gretsky plays for the Kings, not the Olympic team.
ReplyDeleteYea, Gretsky has been retired for sometime now. They did show him in the crowd waving a Soviet flag which I found a little odd. Probably still bitter about the miracle on the ice I guess.
ReplyDeleteI've just decided that me and a certain young lady will travel to Vancouver after these games have concluded and we will relive all the glory and majesty of these games. We will travel to the speed skating ovel and stand on the ice where the Americans won gold over the heavily favored Canadens. Yes, you are correct if you have diagnosed me with Olympic fever. LOL
ReplyDeleteDr. Dangley prescribes 500 mg of cold Budweiser! LLL!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though who are you taking to Vancouver? Is it Gerta? If it is tell her I want my coveralls back. Does Karna know?
New Brian Fencing topic!
I filled your prescription and took my medicine last night. And now I will let you in on a secret: I think I had an overdose!! And the worst part is
ReplyDeleteKarna doesnot know and will never know and I will assume Gerta is a joke. Something tells me I have an ace up my sleeve and that you will meet her soon enough. This girl has a fire and wit about her that makes me feel like such a hardass. She must have been sent from above. I couldn't be happier and we figured the Olympics is where we could go to show that romantic feeling to one another.
Did you see the fraud Canadens win the Ice Dancing competition?
Dr. Dangley prescribes 5000 mg of aspirin! LOL!
ReplyDeleteEither way I need my dungarees back. It sounds like this woman of yours is a real catch and aI can't wait to meat her. Are you going to drive up to Vancouver from Aimes? Don't for get to stop by Route 89's Bueford Inn for the beef buffet. She'll melt in your arms!
I couldn't watch the Ice Dancing last night because Dondra took away my TV priveleges for the night because I forgot to clean the sink after I trimmed my moustache. I was like "clean the dang sink yourself Dondra" and then we got in a fight. She ended up sleeping out in the truck.
You should have seen me after the State Fair a couple years ago! lol Talk about needing some mg of aspirin!
ReplyDeleteTim, I apologize for talking about your family life that way, but I will be not allowing my son to come onto the internet anymore, that's for sure.
Grief, I don't know if well fly or drive yet. What, are you a travel agent now? Can you just relax about the trip and not put so much pressure on it? This is a lovely girl were talking about here and I can't afford another screwup.
ReplyDeleteUmmm, have you seen ANY of these games Burt? This is embarasing if you've written this blog post but haven't watched a single match from te games. Probably would have been better for me to write on this topic.
Marriage is a drag man. You have no idea how much freedom you will feel after you get divorced.
I saw Bob Cost Us talk a little one night about "Olympic Spirits" or something. He looked like he didn't really want to be there so I turned it off.
ReplyDeleteEver here of "till death do us part?" Tim? You know what they say, "you can't spell marriage without an i and an age." LOL!
Look Dutch. Your a guest here and a lot of times guests just say stupid things. Maybe you feel like your out of your league intellectually here but my advice is to stick with it and we will just ignore all the stupid stuff you say. Apology accepted and I welcome you.
ReplyDeleteI also have a son (3 actually). And are they a handful? Sometimes you just have to let them make there own choices and then start grounding them for it.
Yes, I have heard of that. Has Karna? That's the real question. And I don't question your commitment to Dondra, I just feel a little depressed for you.
ReplyDeleteTim, I feel sorry for your outlook on life. Burt yes marriage is a beatiful thing and you should be happy for it.
ReplyDeleteDid you guys see the hockey match last night?