Now, as a married man I couldn't help but sympathize with Tiger's wife. How would I feel if my wife all the sudden slept with 20 or 30 men and women? I would feel pretty rotten, to tell you the truth. And I bet she would feel the same way. And believe me I've had PLENTY of women try to have sex with me when I'm at the flea market or down at Husky's B&G and have had to beat them off with a stick, so I also know how Tiger feels. One time I was at the gym doing the bench press when this woman came up to me and said "I like your belt buckle" and I said "thank you." I never saw her agian which is probably for the best. I've never played golf, but it's practically the same motion as rowing so I bet I'd be pretty good. At least a par. Maybe more.From what I've read about Tiger's apology though it seems like he didn't learn anything from his mistakes. No mention of driving classes or a donation the the DMV in Florida. No mention of thanking the police officer who put his lips to his and blew sweet oxygen back into his lungs so that his brain had air and didn't die. (At least take the guy to Chilis and buy him a burger or something.Come on, man.) No mention of thanking the people who set up the press conference for him. They did an amazing job of lighting the room and providing him with a suit to wear so the least he could do was say "appreciate it guys." Look at how bright that light is!:
toss a couple hundred dollar bills down at their faces in the mud, and say "go buy a rag and clean yourself up you disgusting animal". (Which is exactly what happened when I met Richard Marx one time at an autograph signing at the mall and asked him what it was like to be related to Groucho and Harpo and he said that I shouldn't be such a wise guy and had me thrown out of the pretzel shoppe. Needless to say, I don't approach many celebrities anymore.) If I tried to do that the person down in the mud would say "who the heck are you? Go clean yourself up buddy." And he would have every right to say that to me.
*Tiger was not hiding in a tiger's den.
I don't get what the big deal with Tiger Woods is. I'm a golfer, so I can have sex with lots of girls? So what. Look at me, I crash my car? Why does the media care so much what he does, anyway? Because his name is Tiger? I've got news for you, I'll bet his real name isn't really Tiger anyway. If I had a million dollars like him, I'd be having sex with lots of girls, too, and you can count on that, but do you think Peter Jennings would care? Nope.
ReplyDeleteIf this blog is about supposed to be some kind of hard-core debating, you should get into something more kind of philisophical- so far you really haven't gotten into that tricky of stuff. sorry, just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteJust warmin' up, Anonymous. Brain Fencing is a delicate art. You know that.
ReplyDeleteWell, I've had a great couple of weeks! I guess that for some reason the internet provider decided to stop sending me bills in the mail three months ago and the bill got so far overdue that some web geek just flipped off my service without any warning or notice. I was in the middle of writing a theses on astrophysics when the signal went down and I had to just watch as two weeks worth of work went down the drain in an instant. I sat helpless as the screen turned from white to black and each letter of the work was deleted. I tried to post the work to the blog, but after so many clicks over and over it became clear that the work had been lost and I couldnt refresh it. The internet connection was gone and the computer had died. I picked up the monitor of the computer in anger and threw it down on the ground on the back patio and it is still laying there and Genius will not shut up whining about it. I just could not stop kciking the hard drive and left it basically in shambles and I have no idea if it still works. The theses was my finest bit of work and I am no longer dating anyone. These few weeks I've just been thinking about Karna and I just think that she is probably confused right now and that if someone as honrable as Tiger Woods cheats, she should get a second chance. I have been trying to get ahold of this idiot she is dating and I haven't left the house in six days. Brain fencing is not on my priority list right now.
ReplyDeleteJust disappointed this morning. I gave everything I had in that last comment and you just stonewall me. I am going on 7 day of isolation and misery here and the only thing keeping me afloat is this blog and how much it means to me. I have so many happy memorys here. There will never
ReplyDeleteTim, I am sorry things do not seem to be going well for you. But are you sure that your electricity has not been shut off instead of your internet? I don't know how internet being turned off would make your computer shut down unless it was a really old computer or something. I've been having some PC trouble of my own lately, and so I'm having to do my web "surfing" at the library again LOL. I'm really tired of the Tiger Woods thing, but it looks like he's going to play golf soon so you'd better get used to him being in the newspapers and stuff. Tim it sounds like you should find a more stable relationship than Karna can give you right now.
ReplyDeleteMy comments have to be approved now? I'm tired of being sensored here and in other places. This administration is making me physically sick have you ever heard of "freedom of speech".
ReplyDeleteNow I realize that this is a very very complicated issue and that I was probably talking way over your heads, but come on, folks. Let me break it down: Tiger Woods is a golfer. He plays golf really well. does that mean he can go ahead and help himself to my wife? Probably. But that doesn't mean that it's OK or right. Does that mean I could do anything abuot it if Tiger Woods wanted to sleep with my wife (she worked at a Perkins once)? Probably not. Does that mean that I have the right to call the police and force Tiger Woods to have another press conference and wear another suit to apologize for sleeping with my wife? I don't know. I'm not a lawyer (although I could be if I wanted to be).
ReplyDeleteThese are the types of questions that keep me up at night as I lay next to Dondra and wonder "how much would Tiger Woods pay me to sleep with my wife like in that movie with Woody from Cheers"? Would it be enough for me to buy that bass fishing boat down at Rusty's? I don't know people.
Tim, I'm so glad your back on the Web. I though that maybe you'd gotten lost up in the hills like you did that one time but then I realized that we had talked on the phone several times when you had been drinking and I was crying a little about Tiger Woods so I knew you were safe. Also, as for losing your physics manifesto, you should do what I do ever since I lost my screenplay about Socrates: Take Polaroids of your computer screen as you finish each page. This way, worst case scenario, you just have to hole punch the Polaroids and bind them up to make a book. :)
Oh and Dutch, we had an hacker attempt on our site recently so for reasons of security we've had to become most strict with our publishing rights. I'm sorry, but Brain Fencing is a national phenomena now.
ReplyDeleteWell I can appreciate security as much as anyone. It's important on a global level to fight terrorism and cyber-security is no different. But I don't like that my posts might be screened before they appear here! What if I said that I was the man living with Karna? Would that get posted. I'm not Tim, so just calm down, but do you see my point? Anyway, I think you're missing a lot of important information on this Tiger Woods thing. Burt, you could absolutely call the police if he was sleeping with your wife (but I think we both know that he has bigger fish to fry if you know what I'm saying! :)
ReplyDeleteBurt can you do one post without bringing up the horrendus name of Dondra?I don't think this blog was created for you to just whine about personal stuff. I have major issues going on and my computer is broken. I just need a friend right now and your paranoia about Tiger and Dondre together just makes me think about Karna and Mark Grenderson at the Golden Corral all over again. It's just tough for me to keep going every day unless I happen to get a date or have something fortunate happen to boost my confidence.
ReplyDeleteAnd I lied about the astrophysics work and I am so sorry. I guess that I, I guess I just needed a friend but all I was really doing was creating my first Twitter account. I promise to you and all the readers that I will never lie again and I will start working on the theses for real after lunch. I will also delete the Twitter account to show how sincere.
ReplyDeleteSo we're leaving off my comments now? It must be quite a debate when the two of you decide who gets to say what, isn't it? I know you guys are good debaters and all, but the internet is supposed to be a place where I can voice my ideas. And I don't even know what the Golden Corrall has to do with Tiger Woods, you're getting really off topic.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who Richard Marx is.
ReplyDeleteTiger will be returning to golf at the Masters
ReplyDeleteAre you guys for real? Astophysics? I don't think so, buddy...
ReplyDelete